How Much To Spend on Wedding Gifts?
Posted on September 24th, 2011
They say that your 20s and 30s are the “wedding season” because of all your friends getting married! With weddings come not only celebration and merriment, but also the question of how much to spend on wedding gifts?
In a few weeks CB and I will be attending a wedding of his coworker and friend (the one who has a honeymoon registry), and we have to decide on how much we should spend as a gift. Do we take into consideration what it would cost to feed and entertain us at the wedding, the groom’s relationship with CB, the fact that I don’t really know the couple, or all of the above? Here are some questions that we asked ourselves when it comes to wedding gift budget.
- How close are we to the bride and groom? Are we siblings, cousins, close friends, casual friends, coworkers, strangers we bumped into on the street? (just kidding about the last one!) The closer we are, the more I’d be inclined to give as a gift. Also , are we both close to the bride and groom? Or would one of us be more like a “plus one”?
- What’s my budget? The gifts I gave as a college student were very different than what I am giving as a working professional. The gifts I will give after I have a mountain of student debt from graduate school will probably be less expensive than what I can give after I’ve paid off that debt.
- Are we attending the wedding? If we can’t make the event, we’ll still send something, but most likely it wouldn’t be as much as if we were to attend the wedding. Unless we are family members, then I would probably give the same amount regardless.
- Is it a destination wedding? If we were to go to a destination wedding, we’d likely give a lower amount because of the increased travel expenses. Most brides and grooms will understand that a destination wedding means fewer gifts.
- What’s the cost per plate? Cost per plate won’t dictate how much I spend, but I obviously do think about it. On the one hand, weddings are not an admissions event and guests shouldn’t be expected to pony up more cash/gifts if the couple decide to have an expensive affair. On the other hand, if I am a beneficiary of the great food, live music, dancing, etc. that a wedding provides, I do feel an obligation to give a certain amount.
The etiquette guru Emily Post says, “There is no rule, so it is entirely up to you. Let your affection for the bride and groom and your budget be your guide,” which to me sounds like a lovely thought. I think it’s important to be generous with others, but no one should go into debt or jeopardize his or her financial situation for a gift.
In the end, we decided to give the bride & groom $100. If we cannot go to the wedding, we would have sent a card with a check for a lower amount. If we were both closer friends with the couple, we would have given more. If we were going to the wedding of a family member, we would have given much more.
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Tags: Wedding, Wedding Gifts
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